So, I had a pretty ordinary day. I went to Mingo's place and hung out with him all day, had a good time. Then, later in the evening I went to another friend's place, my buddy David. He's an awesome guy, and I respect him and his ideas with the upmost scrutiny, sincerity, and approval. But that's not what did it, at least not being in company with good friends. I am blessed with knowing people that know more about this world than your average 9-5, popping-out-kids, middle-classed, middle-aged person will ever know. These are people who have never been contented with simple ideological concepts, simplifications, or even ways of modern living that many of us consider normal. Just about everyone I know considers me to be a pretty kind, intellectual type with an ideological and very philosophical mind. You must know that I am a person that is intently passionate about anything and everything. I am not a nice guy, but I sure as hell am not what anyone would consider evil. Maybe to some, but you don't have to be intelligent to have an opinion. But, all that is beside the point, because in the end we all are born screaming into this world, we all shit in this world, and we leave this world quite unexpectedly. Does it sound like I'm in a bad mood? Naw, screw that. In fact, if I am ever in a good mood I feel well balanced, totally at peace, but capable of many things and spontaneous. Anyways, to get to the point, we were watching this movie, I'm sure everyone knows about it. It's called "American History X". The movie was great and I think we should air it in Middleschools across America. Anyways, the movie kinda made me think about things, but to simplify it that much would be a travesty.
When I was about 14-15 years old, I went on a trip with my friend Andy and his parents, to Gulf Shores, Alabama. The whole experience was quite fun, but one particular night stands out as memorable to me because something happened. In fact, nothing happened at all. My friends and I simply walked the beach and talked. Then, after I got tired of ranting, for some reason I just shut up and walked the beach, just walked and walked. I felt something wonderful there, something holistic, something Zen. No ONE idea stayed in my mind. My mind was free of strain, of anger, of pain, or even confusion. But even to say that is to conceptualize and tear my experience to shreds. If you understand what I'm saying, more power to you, and if you don't then keep listening. That night I just shut up and walked, and let myself be myself. I didn't have to add anymore than that. I was silent and smiling the whole rest of the night, and nothing seemed to irritate me. I can't remember even what we were talking about that made me so serene, but I do remember the feeling as a very unique night.
So, to get on with this Zen nowhere rant, there I was and the credits were rolling on "American History X". I felt that I should say something, anything. I mean, don't normal people gab it up for three hours after a movie that was so compelling? Aren't we socially compelled, obligated, or even forced to say SOMETHING about the movie? No. The answer is no. It's simple. You can experience something and never have experienced it because you are obligated to descipher it, to take it intellectually, to examine it under a microscope. No, after reading a thousand books, traveling the world's oceans, or even winning millions of dollars, the wise man will know that what IS is just what it is. You can write it down, summarize, intellectualize, theorize. I was in awe for like an hour after the movie, still am, in fact. I feel great, like a million bucks. Is there any meaning to this rant? Is there any point? Have I really touched anyone by my experience? I can say with all honesty that if you, (my friends reading this) do not understand what I'm hinting at, or even trying to hint at, then we need to talk. Call me anytime.
Guess what, America? You don't have to think you know everything. You don't have to try to sound important, to sound meaningful. You don't have to have other people's recognition, to justify every breath you take. Think about it. Sometimes it's best just to live simply. And, you should always find out for yourself what something means to you. Some people live by one quote or another, but that is not the way to live effectively. Direct experience is key. In every aspect of life, the only knowledge that I would consider valid is knowledge that is recieved with an open mind, without grasping at one's beliefs, values, or even your ENTIRE life experience. When you eat, just eat. When you sleep, just sleep.
I am really in a good mood. If you understand this, great. If you value knowledge and wisdom, forget everything I just said. Look away from the screen in a few minutes and wake up. Just wake up. When you go out your door and accomplish anything, know that you are empty of meaning without those around you. Love and cherish them like you will die the next moment. We are what we are surrounded by. And, when you wake up tomorrow morning and go out and work, go to school, or take care of some business, just always remember the simple truths in life, and know that reality constantly changes and screws around with things. In the words of Bruce Lee :"Simplify Simplify Simplify! Cut out the complications!" Look at me, I'm being hypocritical with living by quotes. If you have a problem with this, go fuck yourself :-D. Now, I want you to take heart what I'm saying and go out and be yourself. Much peace and understanding. Have a good night.